saint

Its weird how I sleep for 7 seconds and dream many things. Anyways, that's not the point. I have this dreams that everything is awesome. Expecially the Boyz with cool drips😅. Anyways I just some of them come true.   But dreams are not just about sleeping and dreaming.its about what you want in your life.for instance I want to have a good life: open up a big law firm, get a pent house and many more. Well it needs hard work though and smart work to. Like I've been dreaming of getting myself a better life and I don't know how. Happy life, my own staff, a stress free life..that's exactly what I picture in the future. I'm actually written this because I have faith and hope I will get it. If only I had a good encouragement. But all I have is a bunch of people who expect alot from me and when everything fail I'm the one to blame.    If something happens in there life that is bad I'm blamed. They don't care about how I will fell. They just expect me to be perfe...

Ouch! Yeah that's pain. The feeling that comes when someone has hurt you. Some people cry when the feeling comes and some ignore it. Everyone has experienced it.  Let me narrate my pain that I once had and it's  still there. Love. I once loved someone. I never saw anything bad in him. I vowed to put all of me in him. He was cute I can say. Everything in him was good for me. I could fail to listen to my loved ones because of him.I loved him.  Then one day someone dropped a bomb shell on me. "Hey why are you texting my boyfriend"she asked. I was shocked. Who was this woman or girl,and what the fuck is she saying? I couldn't believe my ears when she said he was her boyfriend too. She must be mistaking. My boyfriend was very loyal....something I thought....  To cut a long story short I went ahead and asked him. Well he ended up choosing the other girl who they dated for 6 months and leaving me who we've dated for year. It's funny how I gave him all of me and h...

When you take a scalpel and pass it through your skin, what would happen? Of course you will have a wound . But it won't last long before it heals. It can form a scar but it will just vanish soon. Lets think of something else. For instance love . The word looks innocent. But it can destroy a person. It leaves a big scar. Which no one can fix. It does not have to be a romantic love. Although it counts. There is friends, family. They are part of love. Someone you love can live a scar by words only. The words dig through your heart until it becomes a big scar. Sometimes it cannot be the words , it could be the actions . The way someone treats you can dig a hole in you heart until it becomes a scar. You will try to ignore it but the harder you try the more you become hurt.  The  scars  now leads to other thoughts of healing it. The only thing you can think of is escaping it. How exactly? Uuum death  is the only idea you can think off. But what's the point anyways. Isn't ...

Scared. I don't know why but every moment I close my eye I still see his image.His eyes looking back at me with a sweet smile on his face. Can't stop looking back at those eyes. But all of it is just a day dream. Back to reality I'm actually scared.  Scared of those ocean eyes. Scared  of that smile. Scared of his touch.  Healing is what I've been dreaming of,but the memories keep haunting me. Still scared of others, because he left a big hole behind and I'm afraid of making it bigger.  Falling back to the same position is what I don't want to do. I want to dissappear, but if i leave I'll be risking everything. Anxiety is killing me right now. I cry out loud but no one can hear it because I can't make a sound. I hide my tears because I don't want anyone to think I'm weak. I can't believe I was will to drop everyone because of that one person who can't even see it. Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!! Why was I so dump to think this could work. I had hopes i...